The Cottage Weekend

At what point was this a good idea? Andre is beyond yellow school buses. When they said they would provide a bus up to the cottages he assumed as most adults over 40 would that it would be a bus. Like a Greyhound. Not some broken down Ken Kesey tricked out I just wanna live out of hostels while backpacking through Europe getting as high and laid as possible type of deal. No air conditioning on the hottest week in history and shock absorbers older than god. Less forgiving as well. It's like riding a jackhammer. His sciatica is going to put him out for the whole weekend. So much for tubing and jet skis. He'll be the old man on the ground with his legs bent over a chair, doped up on Tylenol 3's and pot. For this he paid $300. An adult cottage getaway, the fifth wheel, the lone wolf among two couples and who knows who else is showing up. He'll be relegated to the grill or the kitchen, cooking for the group because that's what's expected of a chef. A busman's holiday for sure. No one seems to understand that Andre would like to be cooked for, too. Just once. Even Mac and cheese, for crying out loud. Something other than chips and salsa or pre made sushi. It's gonna be a long, long weekend.

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