It's Electrifying

There's no way for him to describe it other than random shots of energy, like lightning pulses traveling up from the inside of his groin out through the top of his head. Bum tickles, she calls them. He thinks it's more like the feeling you get when you're at the top of the roller coaster and about to drop into that death defying plunge. Terrifyingly thrilling. Heartstopping, pure adrenaline rush with  slight aching pain. He wishes he could control them. They come at unsuspecting moments, in jolts, sometimes waves, at the most inappropriate times. Standing in line for a coffee and he spasms like he's being electrified. Almost a seizure but faster, more spastic. Powerful yet fleeting, ephemeral. He vocalises, too. Can not help it. A climbing scale, sort of a vocal warm up elicited under duress. He's discovered  notes he didn't know he had, crazy high tenor opera sounds. Maybe he should look into that. A second career. She laughs. Until it happens five times  in a row then she gets irritated, short and huffy, tells him to knock it off. Like he has a choice. Believe me, he thinks, if I could control this I would, absolutely. Try being in a client meeting and suddenly levitating from your seat while woohooo'ing like a school girl. His boss has been understanding but at some point, this has to be managed. He feels anxious about going to the doctor yet what are his options: she'll either run some more tests or send him to a shrink. It could be the CT's and MRI's that started this all, he can't recall. The last series of jolts nearly sent him off the road into the guardrail. Maybe it's a brain tumour or some sort of epilepsy. Maybe he should smoke more pot. Or less. Or more booze, whatever. He is tracking their frequency on his phone now, making notes, marking intensity and length. Perhaps he'll build an app. They seem to be increasing in power. Could he be electrically overloaded? Maybe his body is some sort of clandestine government experiment or he was a victim of an alien probe. That lost week in grad school. Or neighbourhood kids are pranking him somehow. He just can't make sense of any of this. If this is a super power, he better figure it out and fast because right now he feels like he might explode.