Beans, Beans, The Musical Fruit

Chickpea chocolate chip cookies, black bean brownies. Beans in sweets. Gus is terrifically confused. His mom thinks he can't tell the difference but Gus has the most discerning palate any 6 year old could hope for. Plus he saw her throw the can of beans into the food processor. This week it's beans. He can tell because he's been farting like a demon. Mom gets angry with him then the corner of her mouth curls up and he can tell she's just pretend angry. Every time Gus feels like he has to let one go he makes a bigger deal about it, trying to get his mom to laugh. Most of the time he's a winner. Lately though it's growing tired. After 8 straight days of lentil burgers and loaves and burritos and chilis no wonder. Last month it was tofu. That lasted a week. Deep fried it was fine but any other way it was a spongey, tasteless mash. Well ok, the scrambled egg like thing was good but that's cause she dumped salsa all over it. He doesn't get it, this constant barrage of new meals and recipes, every week it seems there's a new fad. And what does he know, he's 6. But he has noticed the distinct lack of hot dogs, kraft dinner and peanut butter~cheez whiz sandwiches on white bread. Gus found the hidden stash of left over sugary cereals and some sticky chewy granola bars on the top shelf of the second to last cupboard over the stove. Gus knows for sure his mom has forgotten about it because he watched her purge the pantry of all the other stuff. Seems like a big waste of money all the time, buying new stuff and throwing out perfectly usable tasty snacks. Weird. But then again, what does he know, he's 6. Now there's some kind of contraption like they have at school to soak beans in so they'll sprout. Gus offered to bring home the ones from class but his mom explained to him that she was sprouting groats. At first he heard goats and got really excited. Kind of like those baby seahorses you could buy from the back of comic books and put in water then watch them explode. Then she said groats were a form of buckwheat. Whatever that is. He will give her this one, though. The chickpea chocolate chip cookies are really good. He's stealing three more while she's checking the groats. If she catches him, he'll just fart. Loudly. That'll distract her.

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