Vertically Challenged

Anthony liked big girls. Tall girls, the taller the better. Anything over six one, six two and he was over the moon, literally. Preferably blonde, and preferably amply endowed. Big breasted, wide hipped, full lipped, amazonian goddesses. Occasionally he'd settle for a shorter girl- five eight, five ten- which blew Mark's mind. Only in Anthony's world would that be considered a short woman. It's not like supermodel tall, bombshell built blondes were over populating their world. The odds weren't in Anthony's favour, which Mark tactfully tried to explain last Friday night at the pool hall. Besides, they seldom explored outside of their neighbourhood haunts so by now the two or three suitable options had been well worn and played out. To be frank, Mark was tired of talking around the elephant in the room. There's only so many excuses he could make to Anthony for the lack of action. He had game, oh boy, did Anthony have game. He could charm the paint off the walls and have it bent over the bathroom sink, hands on the mirror in under 30  minutes. Now that's a skill. But in all of their years of friendship, they have never ever ever discussed Anthony's shortcomings. On a good day, in his cuban heeled Italian leather shoes and with the right lighting Anthony topped out at five foot four. Easily. But barefoot in early morning sun the man was a peanut. Five one, maybe five one and a half. It didn't matter that he was hung like a horse and had skills younger men would pay to  master. The women grew tired of having to bend over to kiss him, of Anthony not being able to pick them up and swing them around, or reach the gas pedal in his Audi without his platform stacked Frye boots. Plenty of beautiful, curvy, libidinous shorter women were crazy about Tony. Mark did really well on Anthony's cast offs. At five ten, they tended to gravitate to Mark first, his shy, unassuming nature. But as soon as Anthony turned on the swagger, Mark threw in the towel. But now, he's gonna have to broach the sleeping bear. Best he sit him down and buy him a drink or five. Mark knew the one thing you never challenged was a man's sense of virility and he was about to take Anthony's self image to task. Could be a very long night.