As Seen On Tv

Just when she thought it was over, the phone rang. Again. Laura has no idea how she survived before caller ID. At least they didn't have her address. Yet. It was only a matter of time, she knew that, but for now at least Laura didn't have to live in a shrouded studio apartment with her blinds drawn, music low, whispering to the cat. Stirring instead of using her Magic Bullitt dream machine blender. Keeping things quiet. On the down low. Maybe cable wasn't a good idea after all. Late nights spent in the hum of the blue light, listening to pitchman after pitchman excitedly expound upon the wonders of all sorts of things Laura didn't even know existed let alone were necessities evidently lacking in her life. She needed these things, all of them. Expanders, shrinkers, gyrators, prettifiers, organizers, educators, thingamajigifiers. Peelers, ricers, shakers, boilers, steamers, grinders. And on layaway, pre approved credit, easy to make payments spread over the rest of her life. For ever and ever amen. But somehow, they keep calling. Try this, buy this, it's new, newer, better, bigger, broader, the best. You know you want it, come on, put it on credit. We'll give you credit. More credit than you could possibly need, all at once. You know you want it. You know you need it, all of it, every single thing you have no room for or use for or money for...Laura turns on the tv, trying to drown out the noise in her head, calm her mind. Shut up, please. Please, just stop begging me, she thinks. I can't say no. I can not resist you. Laura jumps out of her skin, realizes she's been speaking out loud as the phone rings. Again. And again and again and again...

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