Man Of The House

He packed a bag just in case. You never know, somewhere down the line he might have to make a move and he wants to be ready. Scott's biggest fear is not being prepared. Missing the moment, being left behind, lost in translation somehow. Scott's dad ran out on them when Scott was two, said he wasn't cut out to be a parent which left Scott the man of the house. That was Joan's favourite phrase: "Looks like it's up to you, Man of the House. You're gonna have to pull your weight around here if we're ever gonna get ourselves out from under." He was 6 when he started making dinner and doing laundry; 8 when he mowed the lawn and bought the groceries. It was only the two of them but it was a lot for a kid to handle, especially the burden of expectation that Scott somehow represent the masculine ideal in the household. His voice hadn't broken and he'd never been laid by the time he was driving and banking and learning how to manage a household. Joan lay in stasis, catatonic-like, glued to the television or wrapped up in an afghan, drinking pots of Earl Grey and incessantly dunking and nibbling row after row of Arrowroot cookies. "Honey, can you put the kettle on? My show's about to start, don't forget to bring me some orange juice. And the All Sorts." Scott was the surrogate husband to his mom. All his school friends were creeped out by their strange arrangement. They stopped coming over to hang out and play with Scott's Sega and Intellivision. When he started to run the vacuum and get dinner prepared Marco asked if his mom was dying or crippled or had a wasting disease or drug problem or something. Scott never asked him back even though Marco was his best friend and they played D and D together at lunch time. Scott fantasizes about a great escape. He loves Joan but there's this girl in homeroom he really wants to go to the Cabane a Sucre with and he can't tell her about his mom. In a perfect world, he would eat pancakes slathered in maple syrup with maple taffy swirled on a stick with Daniella. They would watch shows together while Joan did the cooking and cleaning and washing up. Scott keeps his packed bag hidden under his bed, where Joan would never find it. Every boy needs to dream.

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