I Need You To Listen

I need you to listen. Lean in, that's right. Real close. I want you to feel my breath on your cheek, the heat from my exhale flooding your face with microscopic drops of moisture. That close, alright?Uncomfortably so. Because I do not want to raise my voice, you see? I want to speak slowly and quietly in order to impress upon you the importance of what it is I have to say. The profound nature of what it is I have to share with you, my friend. That is what we are, are we not? Friends. Close, intimate friends. I trust you with my life, this you understand in your soul, I know this. So right now, right this very second, I need you to hear me. To aurally comprehend the communication I am having with you. Put that cigarette down. It's a filthy habit and makes you weak. That's right, weak. You heard me. I love you, my friend but you are slowly, deliberately and recklessly poisoning yourself and all those around you. I will no longer tolerate it. Not around me, nor in my house, on my property, not even if we are standing on a sidewalk 6 metres away from an entrance and you light up. I will leave. Got it? Now, I know you know I love you. Deeply. Like my own kin. This is why I am telling you, directly and with great intention, that you need to stop now. I know where you're going to go with this, I do. I've been with you every step of the way. The hypnosis, the patches and gums and needles and self help books. I know. Believe me, I know. But I am going to be frank, my friend. You stink. Constantly. Your teeth are wearing it and your skin- how do I say this- it's not showing you off to the best of it's ability. The lines around your mouth, the crow's feet, the permanent wheeze and persistant cough. It's aging you. Badly. It has to stop, my friend. Walk away from the adolescent romanticized ideal of you as a Smoker. All of those pictures, half-lit, cig hanging limply from the corner of your mouth, channeling your inner method actor du jour. Pardon my frankness, but grow up. Move on. Shake your head. Take a shower. Man up, put on your big boy pants and get yourself together.  For the love of all that's holy and healthy. For yourself. Smarten up. Can you hear me now? Good. That's how close I want you. Now brush your teeth, and scrub your tongue. Change your shirt and wash your hands. You know I love you, right?

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