Trying My Best To Quit You

Oh, how I loved you, every single piece of you. I ached for you, dreamt of you, reveled in the way you smelled and tasted and delighted me. I became transfixed by the thought of having you, if only for a moment. The rush, the sensation of an overwhelming eruption of taste and satisfaction. Umami. Dripping down my fingers, spilling from the sides of my mouth, licking my lips, sucking every last morsel from my fingers. Then it all went wrong. The pain. Sleepless nights, doubled over, rocking like a child in the fetal position, knowing, deep down, that it was over. It had to be, for my own good. I kept trying to dip back in, just a taste; a friend with benefits, every now and then, trying desperately to convince myself it wasn't as destructive as it was. But I knew. My body was telling me- I had to let go. Walk away, kill my cravings. For you, your soft, sticky, sweet and chewy, cinnamony, lightly iced goodness. Oh gluten, you devil in my belly, why did it have to end like this? I think of you often, fondly. I've moved on, or at least I've tried but it's not the same. Nothing can replicate that physical sense memory filling me up from my toes to top. But  I know, I do; in time, my palate will change, the cravings will retreat, slowly, like the changing of tides. I miss you, I do but I have to trust that this is for the best. Maybe, someday, if you do the work and somehow change...and with enough time, I adapt....Sigh* Who am I kidding? I loved you once, deeply. It's time to move on. Oh, you. You....

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