Dead On In The Face

The woman has a baby strapped to her chest. It's one of those front pack sacks that you stick a kid in and it faces the world with all four limbs jutting out in every direction. Ferg lets out an audible involuntary grunt. He just doesn't get it. You'd think after carrying the thing in her stomach for ten months she'd want the relief of a stroller or something but no, she's strapped this poor kid across her chest like a bomb, a human shield that drools and spits. Different take on a camel. Crazy breeders. Why do people even have kids anymore, aren't they aware of the massive over population problems in the world? There's 7 billion on one planet, it's a bit much, by anyone's standards. Granted it's not like Ferg is going to be breeding anytime soon. Last girlfriend he had was in junior high school, Alicia Loring. Not like they ever really went out or had an actual date, more like Mark set him up with his girl's best friend and they became an item until Alicia put a note in his locker telling him she didn't want to go steady with anyone. Then of course she showed up with that weirdo Danny at the fall frolic dance. Now he was strange. Freaked out over a mural and got expelled. Alicia probably has kids now. She'd make cute ones, not like this strap-on blobbo grinning senselessly at him. Kids liked Ferg for some reason. Maybe it was because he looked them dead on in the face and bugged out his eyes, made them laugh even though he was trying to freak them out. Huh. Ferg never really understood his effect on people. Babies were more of the same.

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