Three's A Crowd

It takes, what, about twelve hours to get to Tennessee from here? Yeah, I think that's right. That's what the google map says so I mean, there's going to be three of us driving right, so Jeremy says he's good to drive straight through but I think if we split it between the three of us with maybe two pee breaks for gas and snacks we'll be fine. I mean, provided everything goes as planned, no major foul ups or traffic disasters. I'm not a fan of the Long Island Expressway so any way we can avoid that will be just peachy. Plus, if we leave just after rush hour we should be clear of all the major congestion getting south of the city. I think that makes the most sense, no? Carmen stops to jam a few more sweet potato fries covered in spicy peanut sauce into her mouth and washes it down with a slug of her Blanche de Chambly. You can take the girl outta Montreal but she'll find her microbroue and poutine substitute where ever she goes. Carmen's never been south on a road trip before. A childhood trip to Disney doesn't count. She's been yammering on about Bonnaroo for weeks ever since a space opened up in Jimmy's car and well, everyone knows how she feels about Jimmy and Jeremy. Fag hag was invented with women like Carmen in mind. A different take on Three's Company, Carmen is in her bliss with the gay boys, the Topsider Twins as she calls them. For their part, the boys like Carmen  in measured doses. A little Carmen goes a long way. All the way to Tennessee, apparently. Marco got  a gig with a drag revue he's been coveting for months. He's not really into border crossings these days either, not since Seattle in 2009. Reluctantly the Twins invited Carmen to take his place since they can't afford the loss of a third person in terms of travel and ticket expenses. Carmen's already picking out wardrobe and micromanaging itinerary. Jimmy shoots a sidelong sneer in Jeremy's direction while Carmen orders a third pint and extra dipping sauce. Jeremy pipes up. You know, Carm, maybe it is better if I do most of the driving. Give you more time to organize for us- you can read us out the schedule while I drive. Carmen lifts her head from the basket of fries and her face illuminates into a mile-wide smile, while a dollop of peanut sauce rests centred across her upper lip, like a badly drawn moustache. Alright, yes, that's a great idea- as long as you know, you're ok with that. I wouldn't want to impose, after all, it is your guys' big trip. The waiter brings Carmen her beer.  Tennessee we're coming for you- here's to Bonnaroo!

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