Today's The Day

Her heart hurts. This incessant pressure, knowing things will never be the same. She's crushed under the weight of failed expectations. Possibility is endless until it's stopped in it's tracks. Derailed. Rerouted. Obliterated.
She takes a long pull from her thermal water bottle, a bridesmaid's gift from Layla and Ahmed's wedding last summer. It's got a Today's The Day decal on one side and Julie's H2O on the other, dented on the bottom now so it stands off kilter. The leaning tower of teal.  Contrary to her repeated requests, Dan still puts it in the dishwasher instead of hand washing. Of course, if he'd just leave it for her that would solve the problem but Dan does as Dan does, and a spotless kitchen and sanitized water bottle make Dan a happy man. Julie, on the hand, does not.
It's not just the dishes. There's no joy anymore. No fun. Dan cooks and cleans, and Crossfits in the garage while learning Dutch and Portuguese on Babbel, in case Amsterdam or the Algarve are future homes. Julie spends her days online now, mindlessly scrolling through instas and tik toks trying to ward off her anxiety, nibbling edibles she hides in the freezer, knocking back bottle after bottle of home brew kombucha spiked with gin.
The thought of being alone during the pandemic makes her cheeks flush. Her heart revs up,  humming in her ears. She gets hives on her left foot and a psychosomatic dry cough. Dan retreats to the backyard, earpods cranked, doing suicide drills and calisthenics. Julie tries to join in but passes out after her third burpee. This isn't going to end well when it ends, and it will end. The pandemic, however, may drag on forever.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Moving in Stasis

Go. Get on that plane, that train, that bus. Walk if you have to. Swim, we've got great lakes and oceans and rivers. So many bodies of water and tracts of land to get across. Find a way, they said, just get here, soon. And so Tally packed a bag with just the essentials: a blueberry corn muffin with a shmear of cream cheese, her well worn pocket stone she rubs in her left hand, a packet of mints from the drive in theatre, and two pineapple juice boxes. A clean pair of socks, some dental floss, mom's old cigarette lighter she stole off her bureau, and twenty three dollars and eighty five cents in change. That was the heaviest part of her backpack. She wondered if she was forgetting something but her mind raced with all the things at once. Will her shoes be comfortable on the long journey? Did she feed the cockatiel before she left the house? How can she get across the ocean if the boats aren't docking in the harbour anymore? What if she runs out of money? Will Joseph be
Read more

Kindness Is A Boomerang

If he can make it off the couch to the kitchen, then he'll be up and at 'em. Movement is motion and motion is energy and like a battery, he'll recharge. Feel better. Or different. Good enough. Long nights of hourly wake ups, followed by the struggle to quiet his mind. Loop, loop, looping through endless thoughts of what if and who will and I should and maybe they'll but just go to sleep. Sleep. No tech in his room, just sleep and sex. Although physical touch has been lacking. Wanting. Week seven, but who's counting.  And that's just sheltering in place. Before that, well...seasons. The sky is bright. City living with no light pollution is like life at the cottage on Lac St Joseph. There are meteors tonight, a shower or falling or maybe it's his brain playing tricks on his eyes. Looking for things  he can't possibly see. Four missed calls. Thirteen notifications. No one he's pining for so it's a wash. Is it too late to get up... too early
Read more

Good, Not Great

She hits the down button. Two hospital admin types, young women in almost stylish outfits, the ones afforded on entry level salaries, wait on a car going up. The elevator arrives, doors open, she steps on then realizes she's going up. Force of habit, she says aloud to no one in particular, pavlovian response. The two women sort of smile as they study the floor, suddenly intensely awkward and private. She gets louder as she backs out of the car. Doors close and she hovers her finger over the already illuminated down button. Right, just did that. It's quiet here, far from the madding crowd. Emerg was busy, mainly the geriatric crew. A few indigent and drunk and disorderlies draped over chairs, hanging out of gurneys, buried under sheets and gowns, moaning, rambling incoherently. It's the large-and-in-charge paramedic night: 4 teams of doughy young men stand sentinel with their wards, buried in paperwork, bored with the hurry and up wait logjam of daily deliveries.
Read more