Thin Mint Dilemma

"Courtney, hurry up- just ring the bell and hold up the box. Come on, honey, we have half the street left to do and Daddy's going to be home any minute expecting dinner to be ready. Don't be shy, the Martins bought 3 boxes last year. They're home, honey-see the light on in the living room?" Susan gestures by jerking her head repeatedly to the left. She looks like she's having a small seizure or suffers from a spastic tic. The pressure. The picture window has the drapes halfway drawn. She knows everyone's ignoring the bell. Becky Lo and her Tiger Mom did a wide sweep of the neighbourhood last night and early this morning. Who pimps out Thin Mints before work? Su's just pissed she didn't think of it. Damn Girl Guide cookies. They're going to be the ruin of her. Last year she was on the hook for 15 boxes. They're like crack; she can't keep them in the house and there was a quota Courtney wasn't meeting. Not good. Courtney is not a people person. The kid's better on a computer and with Oscar the family's guinea pig than she ever is with other kids, let alone adults. But you can't opt out, oh no. Every Girl Guide is expected to hustle: sell! sell! sell! It's like a cult. Unfortunately it's a cult where Courtney actually excels. She has so many badges Su's invested in a thimble and serious spool of thread and needle. The freebie hotel kits weren't cutting it what with a new patch every week.  And she's a happier kid in the uniform. Completely baffles Su. She got kicked out of everything- ballet, brownies, swim team. She was born challenging authority so the irony of parading her only child around the block and lugging boxes to the office, keeping spares in her purse and stored in the back seat floors her. If it makes Courtney happy, Su can't say no and Dwayne, well...Dwayne enjoys himself some sandwich cookie deliciousness. Between the two of them those 15 boxes disappeared in 3 weeks. The self loathing. Oh boy. It's not even christmas and they start to feel the surge. Girl Guide cookie  season is their launch date for overeating indulgence. Which is why Su is badgering her poor 8 year old daughter at 5:45 on a Thursday night to harass her aged disinterested neighbours into a pity buy. Repeatedly. If that doesn't work it's back to pandering to her relatives and foisting the stash onto the women at Tae Kwon Do. Surely sugar and hydrogenated vegetable oil with a minty chocolate outer shell is an easy sell.

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