Plea To The Fur Kid In The Way

Oh dear, at what point do you think it's a good idea to plant yourself directly in front of me like this while I am trying to get my work done, hmmm? You see this shiny box of emanating light? Yes, this is why I sit here, day in and day out, tapping away on this little pad of raised squares, occupying my hands in such a way that it is impossible for me to spend any time caressing you. I know, it's entirely unfair on my part but really, we've been over this a thousand times if we've been over it once; you are in my way. This is not the time or the place for you to crawl onto my lap or lay in front of the computer and extend your paws onto the keyboard while I desperately try to manoeuver my way in and around your yowling, talkative feline self. Enough with the purring already. Regardless of how cute you are, and we agree on this fact at least, this is not the time or place for copious amounts of catcentric attention. I know, I am a lousy cat mother, selfish and cruel and unkind in my ignoring you, I KNOW. I accept this with complete conviction but please, again I say, get the hell off of my forearm please so I can finish my writing. Please and thank you. Oh no. No no no no no, do NOT do the slow creep weight transfer and expect that I in no way will notice the fact that now not only have you trapped my hands under your furry red belly but in effect you have negated any chance of me actually getting this work finished. And you expect what for this, treats? Chin stroking and ear patting, huh? Oh wait- hey- that is not your hummus, no, no it is not. Nor are these your dates and walnuts or corn chips. Hey! Hey hey now, easy now, settle, settle down, don't start with the hiss and bite routine, no one likes a biter, everyone knows that. You need to get down. GET DOWN. Thank you. And you can forget about any chase the feather routine before bed. Nuh uh, no siree mr tabby cat you have exhausted my patience this evening with your neediness. Go be cute and irrestible somewhere else, over on the couch, beside your feline sibling, the one who ignores you as easily as she ignores the rest of the world. Including me. See? See, now why can't you be more like her, that's what I want to know. Go and take a page from miss apathetic and disinterested over on the couch there passively shedding up a storm. Go bond with your furmate and please, for the love of Mike, let me write. Thank. You.

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